New year. New blog, New me.

Hello to whoever is reading this.
I'm starting this blog to help myself. It's to keep a record of my eating habits and for my own reference on my life at the moment. I am pro-ana, but this isn't a pro-ana blog to encourage or influence anything on anyone else.
So here goes.
3 years ago I was at my lowest weight, 113 pounds. Now I am 140 pounds. And I hate myself. Ana was apart of my life then, my best friend, but things happened that drove her away. I neglected her. This happened out of my control, without me even realising. And then it hit me. How I've missed her being there, being someone to help me through all the hard times, someone being there helping me to be the person I want to be. I've gone through 2 years of hating myself and missing her, I felt as though she was sickened by me and so dissapointed in what I did to her, that she was gone forever. But about 2 weeks ago she came back to me and reached out her hand and forgave me. And slowly she is learning to trust me again. No one else wants for me what I want in this world apart from ana, How could I neglect her? I wont neglect her again.