I'm sorry if anyone actually is reading my blog, that I haven't posted in a while. I've been busy recently and anytime I do have to sit down, I have no privacy at all. I'm writing this in work as it's a bit quiet at the moment.
I've been so bad this last week. I don't know what is wrong with me. I've binged, purged. And then binged, binged, binged. I've gone up to 141pounds. So rubbish. I can't help it. I do really well all day and get a bit of a craving and go crazy. The general thought is that "I've gone over my limit, so why not just carry on" -HOw could I think that?! How DO I think that.
I'm writing this now because I'm craving chocolate and I'm being tempted to go and get one from the machine. I don't want to. I'm going to get a glass of water and have a cigarette. I hope that'll work.
I'm going out on Friday and don't want to look like a fat slob. 3 days. Goal 138pounds. And then I have a whole month of stuff going on and I need to be atleast to 130 by the end of February. I've been to the gym twice this week and I'm going to go tomorrow morning before work. I've been power walking 45mins either way to work aswel..it just wont shift. AARRGHHH must stop binging!!!
Also My best friend is advising me how the pounds are dropping off her and she has a 1500cal limit a day. WTF?! If that can't be thinspiration what else will work?!
Food Diary starting today to show myself how awful I really am-
Today so far...
2 pieces of wholemeal toast, marmite (450)
1 Honey and granola cupcake ( :( ) (150)
1 glass of orange squash (14)
So overall about 615 Cals so far.
I'm making a meal tonight which has only 133cals per serving. http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/3985/vegetable-chilli-bowl
It's really filling and tastes good. :)
So overall thats around 750 cals.
I will report back tomorrow if I amazingly managed to stick to this.
And then tommorrow I'm going to try and make it 650 cals and then friday I have friends coming over and were going out so I wont have anything but coffee in the day and then the dreaded pizza we are having for tea. Hopefully stay under 800cals. (promises to me):
I HAVE to stick to this. And I am going to write on here everyday.
Stay strong (unlike me) and think thin! xxxxx
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I can really relate to your blog because I'm struggling as well to get back on track.
ReplyDeleteI look back and read my journal entries from when I was a stick and I see that my meal plan every day was black coffee, a carrot for breakfast, a carrot for lunch, and a carrot for dinner. I immediately try this same diet...but I usually fail miserably at night and binge like a monster. I think my problem is that I try to restrict way too much too soon only to have it backfire on me. Anyway, I didn't mean for this comment to sound like I'm blabbing on about myself....I just mean to make a point that maybe slow and steady is the way to go at first and that maybe in order for this to work, we have to force ourselves to gradually lower our calorie intake. But I know it's easier said than done when all you want is to be at that point where all you really need IS black coffee and three carrots.
Good luck girlie, I'm here if you need me--we're in this together : )